In a desperate attempt to regain the Mosconi Cup, European Team Captain Ralf Souquet has slapped a sex ban on his team for the duration of the Mosconi Cup which starts on Thursday.

In a strongly worded letter, hard-line Souquet, dubbed ‘The Kaiser’, warned his teams against the perils of carnality.

Order for all members of the European Mosconi Cup Team: “There is a strict prohibition for having sex and/or sexual activities with effect from December 11th 2000. This rule applies particularly to the German player Thomas Engert, who is bringing his wife with him. There have even been some thoughts, whether to book two single rooms for him and his wife!”

“As captain of the European Team, it is my first and utmost priority to take care of the players and prepare them for optimal performance at the tournament. Not only from my own experience I know that having sex at an inappropriate moment can paralyse body and soul of a player. Concentration, mental force and attitude towards the game could be weakened and negatively influenced.”

“Remember there is only one goal – to win the Mosconi Cup!”

Finnish ace Mika Immonen learned of the ban on arriving in London this morning and was reported to be “gobsmacked”.